“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
“Look at me! Have pity on me! I am wounded!” We all have our drama. Be it a medical condition, loss of a job, separation from a partner, a death, just a bad day – we all go through it. Some of us, however, wallow in it.
Now, this piece can go one of two ways: I can write about how frustrating the person is for bringing me into their stage show. That’s easy. I could rant about how annoying it is or how they need to get it together and stop complaining. This person appears so selfish, so in need of attention that they will say or do anything to be heard. Quite often, they will talk to everyone and still insist that “No one EVER listens!” They’re probably right. I mean, seriously, the louder you get, the less you get, right?
But what if there is something going on that I’m not aware of? What if the still, small, voice of God exists in them in a way much different than she exists in me or you? We often are very, very quick to judge what we don’t understand. It’s easier than taking the time to think it through and realize there is something much deeper going on. We don’t help when we react negatively and we don’t help when we drown the person with compassion. One makes you look ugly and mean, the other magnifies the behavior allowing the person to remain center stage and, possibly, avoid doing the internal work that needs doing.
What I have observed, both in myself and others, is that we tend to waffle between the two reactions. We know that we need to be more compassionate and understanding, but, damn, that person’s theatrics can be a bit too much!
I have no right to coerce another to walk my path. Yes, God resides in each of you as he resides in me. Quietly, methodically showing me and you the way to live. I would venture to guess that how we appear on the outside has something to do with the work going on within. And if this is true, then I need to be patient and know that something exciting is about to emerge. I also need to remember that everything happens in God’s time, not mine.
So when I find myself becoming frustrated with a person’s continued behavior, I remind myself that my work needs to be done as well. I take a moment to see myself in you. In doing so, I know God just a little bit more. We are, each of us, walking through the seasons, constantly evolving as we go. Know that, while our paths may vary, we are doing similar work. As we observe each other, let’s do so with kindness. Understand that the drama we see is simply a reflection of the work we are doing. Internal work that shines through into our external world.
From my heart to yours, Diane
photo courtesy of Pixabay